“Have you ever lost someone you loved and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” —Mitch Albom
Grief is a process. It is the mind, body and heart coming to terms with the reality that who you want and need cannot return to you in the flesh. Grief is predictably unpredictable. For some, it may seem straightforward or even easy. Others may feel primed to fight back, as if revolt could restore what used to be.
Grief is not a race. The finish line of acceptance comes only after hard work is put in. Grief may ebb and flow for days, weeks, months or years. It may also return unexpectedly, years later, when you recall a name, a person or an event that linked you to the deceased. And in that moment, you are carried back in time to what once was. In these moments, it is not that grief is pulling you backward.
You are remembering. And in remembering you relive grief, at times, all over again.